The truth about writing partners

Crafting Community, Part 4

First you lurk on forums.

Then—somehow—you luck into a writing group.

Before you know it, writing partners are being mentioned right and left.

Or maybe your writing partner is the one who sparked your creativity and passion to begin with and has been there from the start. Maybe they ghosted you. Regardless, if you’re curious about writing partners, I’ve got some news for you.

You don’t need one.

If a writing group can make or break you, a writing partner can do so ten-fold.

(Numbers are a vibe, not statistical.)

Sharing yourself—your work, your writing, your soul—is already vulnerable. Inevitably, working one-on-one with someone begets a deeper level of intimacy about your process, hopes, dreams, fears, challenges, and everything in-between.

And you don’t need to have a writing partner to be successful, or supported, at all. The other Crafting Community posts are all about finding your writing community—which can serve all the same needs. (If you’re really a loner, you don’t even need that. But you’re likely not reading this far.)

However, there are some of us who thrive in the smaller spaces, who yearn for that one-on-one connection. So let’s talk about it!

Why do you want a writing partner?

If you’ve read any of the other articles in this Crafting Community series, this question shouldn’t be a surprise.

At the crux of most decisions is why.

Why are you looking for a partner? What are you hoping they’ll provide that you can’t find on your own, or within a larger community?

Personally, I like the accountability of meeting with the same person regularly, and the deeper connection over our individual stories compared to larger groups. It’s easier to discuss hopes and challenges, dreams and roadbumps, victories and slumps, with someone who knows you better, knows your story better, than in a wider group setting. And you’re not alone, adrift in the sea of writing advice or misery. Making commitments with another individual raises the pressure for me, which means I’m more likely to follow through and show up when I might otherwise hide in the crowd.

My writing partner has bolstered confidence and unstuck plot holes, cheered and commiserated. She opened my eyes to structural options to improve my story, brainstormed countless thematic, descriptive, and minute issues. And I’d like to think I’ve helped her similarly along the way as well.

If nothing else, it’s worth it to have a regular support session to validate writing is work. Writing is effort. Life gets in the way, but you keep going.

How to work together

Writing partnerships are as diverse as the people within them. The three most important factors are shared goals, compatibility, and schedules.

Compatibility:

How well does your personality mesh with theirs?

Schedules:

Consider how frequently you’re able to check in, if you want to have in-person or virtual meet ups, or send updates as you can. How flexible are either of you to changing the process if life inevitably gets in the way?

Goals:

What is the purpose of your partnership? What does reaching for those goals look like? Some options are:

• Accountability (goal setting and check ins)

• Brainstorm sessions (for writing, writing habits, or life in general)

• Writing sprints

• Manuscript swaps

• Craft sessions (like working through a craft book together)

• Co-Authoring

• Emotional support

How to find a writing partner

Whether you’re searching for the first or fifth time, if you know why you want a partner, and how you want to work together—what the goals you have are—then it’s easier to refine your search and be successful.

If you’re entirely on your own, try posting to Reddit, other forums, social media, or in critique programs like Scribophile or CritiqueCircle (or others). Be clear about what you’re looking for.

Some writing communities have established programs where partners are assigned on interests, personalities, goals, etc.

Reach out to other writers or authors you already chat with (or want to!).

When you first talk with your prospective partner, have a discussion to test the waters. Find out where each of you are at in experience, what you’re looking for in terms of commitment and goals—this person is going to be highly influential in your life. Treat them as such from the start.

Good things often end.

Unfortunately, not everything lasts forever. Not all partnerships are what we hope. Whether you’re overwhelmed with life and have to set the pen down, or your partner isn’t following through on what was agreed, or you’re just not vibing—sometimes you have to let go.

If the partnership turns truly sour—break it off. Ideally, you’re able to voice that it’s over, and why, respectfully and clearly.

Don’t burn bridges that may yet be repaired. If life is busy for one or the other or both, and recalibrating goals or schedules isn’t working, then it’s fine to accept that you can be writing friends without being dedicated partners. You can still support each other, or pick up later when the stars align again.

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And this concludes the Crafting Community series!

If you take away nothing else, have this:

Alone, partner’d up, or in a community, for yourself or others—doesn’t matter.
Just write.

-Del